one time in class we were taking a test and this kid kept looking at my answers so i dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive carved my name into his leather seat i took a louisville slugger to both headlights slashed a hole in all 4 tires maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats
My girlfriend’s rat dog doesn’t let me poop in peace
iPhone 5 wallpapers - Johnny Boychuk
If an intruder ever comes to fucking murder you. You throw your mother fucking head back pull your arms in weird shapes and whip your head forward again and say the anti crist has awoken whilst smiling the biggest smile you have ever made. no smart person would ever fuck around with you if you did that.
STOP REBLOGGING THIS PLEASE ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION
I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFFFEEE
tuukka and tuukka’s cute little face (◡‿◡✿)
but honestly imagine mel going to a home game and xavier gets her suite seats with all the hockey wives and girlfriends????
she’s got her new jersey and a cute little sens toque (or whatever the fuck the Canadians call it) and she’s maybe even wearing a shirt of xavy’s under her jersey bc it smells like him and he insisted????
and she feels so out of place bc of the wives and girlfriends and they’re nice outfits and heels and she showed up in vans and leggings
but, all the wags are super sweet and take to mel because she’s so awkward and blushy and nervous about the game and she ends up screaming “GO SNUGGLES GO” and jumping around when xav scores or something????
she would be so proud of him for everything he did and the praise would NEVER end when she saw him again and she would just be so damn happy